margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
