she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So much rum. So many feels.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
