is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
worst night to have a conscience
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
