I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
