She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
