Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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