It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
