every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
