Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Randomize
