I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
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I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
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damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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