Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
