She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
