I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you will always have a special place in my vag
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
God, I missed his penis.
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