John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
