He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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