i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
