Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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