You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
