Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
