I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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