He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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