You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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