I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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