you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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