I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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