Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
