Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize