You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
