New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
