my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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