i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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