Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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