we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
