Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
