I don't think brook has ever known best
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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