i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This is classic penis vs brain.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
