Me too!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
