Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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