He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
