i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Everything about him screamed your future.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
