It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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