the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
