Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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