tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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