what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
