He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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