OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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