Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize