you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
