if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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