I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
