This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
