dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
