I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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