Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
