I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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