She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
