you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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