I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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