The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
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