Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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