Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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