he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
