smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
