Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Drunk is not a location!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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