I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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