Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize